How NOT to teach a yoga class

I just went to the worst yoga class ever! I would never post a bad review to be mean, but I took it as a learning experience for the things NOT to do while teaching a class. I will not say the name of the teacher or where I took this class, I will just say it’s not a place I usually go.

1. She brought us into downward dog and called it upward dog, and then said downward dog as we came  into up dog. Not once, but like three times in a row and then made a big deal out of it, saying, “Why did they have to give them such stupid names?” :O Then completely avoided any kind of vinyasa for the remainder of the class. “OH MY  GOD, No more dogs!”

2. Clearly she didn’t know left from right, which is not usually a big deal except she had to loudly exclaim, “What the hell is wrong with me today? It must be that cappuccino I had before class!” suuuuree.. lol

3. We had to take child’s pose in between each and every pose. And hold it for a full minute. zzzzzz

4. She started to bring us into crescent lunge, and then quicky pulled out of it, while flailing her arms and yelling “NO, NO, NO, I don’t like that!!!.. What should we do? Should we do the one where we grab our toe and stretch our leg out. Nooo, let’s just do tree.”

(my neighbor and I kept looking at each other like WTF!)

5. The girl next to me kept farting throughout the whole class, and her mother just sat in a chair eating TicTacs very loudly! (ok, this one has nothing to do with the teacher, but it was too funny not to mention!)

6. The music was the Star Wars Soundtrack and the cd started to skip during Savasana, and it just kept skipping, and skipping, and skipping.

I kept a sense of humor throughout the class, some yoga is better than no yoga and things definitely could have been worse… I just found myself wondering who the f*** let her become a yoga teacher, and was she drunk?